Accompanying education
Wechat WeChat official account asked questions
Our child is in the third grade this year. Since the first grade, his father and I have taken turns to accompany him to do his homework. Many extracurricular courses are taught after we have learned. We are particularly worried that such companionship will not have a great positive effect on the growth of children, but will make children lose their independence.
Expert opinion
Teacher Zhang Yanrong of Majuqiao Town Central Primary School: Parents’ companionship is very important for children’s growth, but do parents need to accompany them all the time? This is also a problem that many young parents are troubled by. Many parents spit out and feel that they have gone to school with their children again, but the children’s learning effect is not good. Every accompanying parent should always remind himself to prioritize: accompanying students can only be placed in a secondary position forever, and the main body of learning should be children.
Let children know that learning is their own business.
How to achieve "effective" companionship? Parents should understand that parents accompanying their children in homework can’t really make them form good habits, but there will be many disadvantages. First, if children are accompanied by their parents in homework, their attention will be unconsciously influenced by their parents and they will not concentrate. Sometimes parents’ interruption and guidance will interrupt their thinking, and they will lose the coherence of their thinking. At the same time, parents accompany their children to do homework, and regular guidance or tips will make children lose their independent thinking and follow their parents’ ideas completely. Slowly, when they encounter problems, they will ask their parents directly without thinking, in an attempt to get answers from their parents. In addition, parents who accompany their children to study for a long time will give them the illusion that my study is the most important thing, and it is appropriate for parents to accompany me to do my homework. As a result, it is easy for children to become dependent, such as refusing to do their homework without their parents, or parents will accompany them to do their homework no matter how busy they are.
In addition, parents accompanying their children to do homework will also make them feel a sense of urgency to be supervised all the time and lose their sense of freedom in learning, which will lead to increased psychological pressure. It is worth noting that parents accompany their children to write homework, and the guidance and evaluation they make are often more negative than positive, and even they lose their temper and casually make "How can you be so stupid!" "Why can’t others do it?" "How do you listen in class!" "This topic is so simple!" And so on, and these behaviors or words can easily make children feel inferior to learning and lose confidence.
How should smart parents accompany their children to study? First of all, change "full-time study" to "site study". Under normal circumstances, few children like their parents to accompany them to do their homework, because constant supervision will make people breathless. However, there are exceptions. For example, some topics are really difficult and need constant tips and guidance, and then children will make them correctly after thinking. At this time, you can communicate with your child well, and then let your child do his homework independently when there are no difficult problems. In addition, don’t give up authority and change "begging to accompany students" into "leading to accompany students". Parents must not be afraid that their children will not learn, so they beg their children to learn. Don’t threaten, don’t tempt or exchange for children’s hard work. We must set an inner role model and confidence in learning for children, so that children can understand that academic performance is not the key, and the purpose of learning is what they can do in the future, so that their internal drive can really play a role. (Text/Reporter Wu Wenjuan)